Thursday, May 8, 2014

Vegan Street Tacos and Veggeti

For Cinco de Mayo, my friend Victor came to our house and made vegan street tacos. They were sooooo good! It was basically black beans, guacamole, salsa, sun dried tomatoes and lime on steamed cabbage. They tasted soooo good!



Then tonight I made some spaghetti out of tomatoes, eggplant, shitake mushrooms, cilantro, onions, garlic, spices, apple cider vinegar, and zucchini noodles and hemp seed sprinkled on top :-)



And I have been practicing my contortion again. I have gotten my feet flat on the floor again. Not too bad for less than 3 months post partum :-)

Bouncing back - Hope&Roilan Acro Hand to hand Performance

Like I said in the last post, the first few weeks were very rough and I was an emotional wreck which caused a lot of marital strain but my body is starting to level out. I made a promise to a client for a gig, I said I would have my strength back to perform at her event for autism awareness and fundraising. I am very proud to say that I accomplished that and Roilan and I did a grand performance. I must confess, performing made me feel more alive than I have felt in months. Roilan even used a hat and surprised me by not dropping it on my face :-) The video is at the end of this blog and I only made one mistake which is pretty awesome, and it was a timing mistake and not a big mistake for which I am grateful (when Roilan is on my back and I didn't go up because I couldn't feel his position... I must have lost focus temporarily, i usually never do that.
My sister Zina gave me a free Bikram Yoga pass for sugarhouse Bikram Yoga. That has helped leaps and bounds with my emotions, regulations etc. I find the routine extremely boring but at the same time it really makes me feel good so I keep going every day!
Roilan and I have also become Vegan... I know, scary right? I never saw that coming but I have felt really good and so has he since we started almost 2 weeks ago. Tonight I made a vegan spaghetti. I made the noodles out of zucchini with my veggeti spiral cutter, then I chopped eggplant and shitake mushrooms into a skillet and sautéed them. I also put tomatoes, onions, cilantro, olives and garlic into my new food processor and made a sauce and added it to the eggplant and shitake. Instead of parmesan I put hempseed on top.
I'm still working on trying to get my body back to my pre-pregnancy weight. It has been tough. My flexibility is coming back nicely though as well. I have been practicing contortion and hand balancing again but I really haven't gotten back into aerial. I have about 20lbs to lose before I am back where I started. I am not going to worry about it in the meantime. My body has been though so much and I am a brick house despite my extra fluff. I can't believe i can still do our act. I am very proud of myself after all that I have been through this last year. I thought I was going to give up but something deep inside of me that refuses and keeps pushing me along. I don't know how or for why, but I am grateful for that little fire.





Monday, April 28, 2014

Aftermath

Well it has nearly been 2 months since we lost our son. It has been a roller coaster. I assume that I had post partum depression but it's kinda hard to tell when you are grieving over loss of your baby. I blamed myself a lot, I locked myself in the bathroom floor and cried on a daily basis and my husband and I talked about divorce on more than one occasion. I think we are in the clear now but I have NOT been an easy woman to deal with these last couple of months. My body and hormones are going back to normal, i've been taking lots of vitamins and eating healthy as possible. I've been taking the optimal multivitamin with the methylfolate and methylcobalamin, fish oil, trace minerals in my water, and vitamin D3. I try to add kale, collared greens or any other vegetable containing natural folate in nearly every meal that I take. I didn't realize before how important it is to get enough folate, not just in the case of getting pregnant but for your bodily health and mental health. I still feel a little crazy after all this. Life seems weird after all that transpired, I hope things start to feel normal again someday.

MTHFR, Lithium, Dopamine and You

There is something surprising about dopamine... It determines a lot about your life choices and behavior. Dopamine is a critical neurotransmitter for pleasure seeking, motivation, focus and attention. You thought you were in the driver's seat? Think again... This neurotransmitter has a massive impact on your choices. Think sexual attraction. How sane is that? It is totally driven by dopamine. It's temporary insanity... (Anti-psychotic medications universally act to reduce dopamine.) In love? It's the rise of dopamine.... Euphoric feelings, increased awareness, and a tolerance for lack of sleep are all a part of the dopamine surge of the attraction phase of romantic love. You think it's your beloved, because they are so splendid? It's not... It's because they stimulate dopamine secretion in you. You want the dopamine, and so you want them. And when you habituate to that impact, the honeymoon is over. Very, very sad, but true. The attraction phase of love is temporary insanity from high dopamine. Either it passes or you walk around perpetually insane... So what are the mechanisms that modulate dopamine in your body? Lithium has been known for years to be useful for mood disorders. No one has described why lithium has this stabilizing impact on mood. And, if you have a mutation in the MTHFR C677T gene, you are likely to have mood fluctuations, and you are also likely to have low serum lithium levels. Lithium comes together with MTHFR, methylation and dopamine at the enzyme catechol-o-methyl-transferase, or COMT. COMT deactivates the neurotransmitter dopamine. It uses methyl groups to do this, and MTHFR is important in the production of methyl groups. Lithium increases the transport of B12 and folate into the cell. B12 and folate are pivotal substances in the production of methyl groups, which happens inside cells. So lithium supports the production of methyl groups inside the cell. Lithium may also increase the production of COMT, which then uses the methyl groups MTHFR helps to make to deactivate dopamine. So, one of the modes of action of lithium may be to reduce the level of dopamine in the body by enhancing the production of methyl groups and increasing the level of COMT. Dr. Amy Yasko noted that a number of adults and children using her protocol have low lithium levels. She started looking carefully at lithium levels and noticed correlations between low lithium, symptom formation and particular mutations in the methyl group producing pathway. Certain SNPs are associated with excess lithium excretion. These mutations are MTHFR C677T +, MTR+, SHMT+, and CBS+. Lithium is an essential trace element. You must get it from your diet. The average intake of lithium from the diet should be up to 3100 mcg, or 3.1 mg, per day. What it takes to increase your serum lithium levels into the normal range can be significantly more. There is more information on methyl groups, methylation, COMT, lithium, and dopamine on Nancy's blog at chronicdiseasetalk.wordpress.com/

Monday, April 14, 2014

Did Tylenol Provoke the Autism Epidemic?

I found this from Dr Ben Lynch's page:
Tylenol. A huge issue. One dose wipes out glutathione in kids along with all the PAPS - which is needed to break down neurotransmitters and bind toxins - such as food coloring. Do not use Tylenol - ever. Please spread the word. In Cuba, there are VERY few autistic children there despite a very heavy vaccination program. Tylenol in Cuba is only available by prescription and not used often at all. Here - Tylenol is over the counter and heavily used and abused. Spread the word. Don't use Tylenol. Thanks to William Shaw for pointing the connection between possible low rates of Autism in Cuba due to restricted Tylenol use. Of course - as always - this is just one of many causes - but even so - it is a big one. No Tylenol. None.

Article explaining more detail about tylenol and the autism connection. Thanks to Dr Erica Peirson for providing this link. Did Acetaminophen Provoke the Autism Epidemic?

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Vitamin B12: All Cobalamins are not Equal

From http://www.strokedoctor.com/vitamin_b12.htm

"Vitamin B12: All Cobalamins are not Equal

Look at your multiple vitamin or B complex bottle. You're probably taking cyanocobalamin, the stable and less expensive form of vitamin B12. Because it is stable, it has a longer shelf life. However, the active form of B12 is methylcobalamin and the two are NOT equal in effectiveness. If you have symptoms of GI disorders, lethargy, confusion, slow thought processes, heart rate variability, atherosclerosis, sleep disorders, or immune dysfunction, you may need the methyl as well as the cobalamin component.

The two vitamin B12 coenzymes known to be metabolically active in humans are methylcobalamin and adenosylcobalamin. Vitamin B12 is usually absorbed from the gut from the fermentation of intrinsic factor by intestinal flora. However, production can be disturbed by nutritional deficiencies, intrinsic factor deficiency, bacterial overgrowth, malabsorption, alcohol, and antibiotics. Nitrous oxide anesthesia in surgery and nitric acid from normal metabolism and inflammation also reduce our vitamin B12 levels.

Cobalamins are destroyed by heavy metals and strong oxidizing or reducing agents. (take at different times than vit c). Vitamin B12 deficiency generally increases with age and is common in the elderly.(2)

Both vitamin B12 and folic acid are required for the synthesis of thymidylate, a component of DNA. Lack of adequate DNA synthesis causes many red blood cell precursors (hematopoietic cells) to die in the bone marrow. The development of epithelial cells is also disturbed by thymidylate deficiency. Gut changes due to vitamin B12 deficiency are often related to constipation whereas a folic acid deficiency is generally related to diarrhea. In the brain, the arrest of cell replication due to vitamin B12 deficiency disrupts myelin synthesis, resulting in neural damage in the brain, spinal cord and/or peripheral nerves. Vitamin B12 deficiency can include the following neurological symptoms: numbness and tingling in the hands and feet, unsteadiness, poor muscular coordination, moodiness, mental slowness, poor memory, confusion, agitation, and/or depression.

Vitamin B12 is involved in fat and carbohydrate metabolism. It is required in the synthesis of the amino acid methionine, which is involved in choline and betaine utilization. B12 assists in maintaining sulfhydryl (SH) groups in their reduced form for enzyme activity. Vitamin B12 deficiency is associated with a decrease of reduced glutathione, needed for cell defense against pathogens (viruses, bacteria, fungi) and toxins.

Methylcobalamin is a co-factor of methionine synthase, an enzyme that transfers methyl groups to homocysteine to regenerate methionine. Elevated homocysteine levels are a risk factor for coronary artery disease. (11) Methionine can be transformed to S-adenoxylmethionine (SAM) that is involved in a variety of methylation reactions in the body, one of which is alleviating depression.(13)

Methylcobalamin also plays a role in cell-mediated and humoral immune function in rats. In vitamin B12 deficient rats, serum C3, IgM and Ig G factors were found to be lower. There was also an elevation of the ratio of CD4+ CD8- to DC4- CD8+, which reduces the ability to fight off pathogens.(12)

Cyanocobalamin is not biologically active until converted to methylcobalamin, which also means releasing its cyanide. Cyanide can be toxic because it binds the iron (F3+) portion of cytochrome oxidases, preventing its reduction. This binding blocks electron transport and interrupts cellular respiration. Symptoms of sublethal cyanide toxicity include hypotension, tachypnea, and tachycardia.(4)

Cobalamin can bind with cyanide and is therefore effective in reducing cyanide toxicity. However cyanocobalamin is not effective in removing cyanide because the cobalamin is already bound. (3) Since nitroprusside can induce cyanide toxicity, other cobalamins such as hydroxocobalamin should be used to bind with cyanide. Nitroprusside therapies should be minimized in critically ill patients and those with liver or kidney dysfunction.

Large amounts of cyanocobalamin can exacerbate preexisting cyanide toxicity that can result from smoking tobacco, sodium nitroprusside therapy, and phagocytosis. Steve Roach, M.D. writes that "it seems wise to avoid a potentially harmful form of a drug when the more physiologic variety is available and is excreted at a more desirable rate.(7)

Foods fortified with vitamin B12 (as cyanocobalamin) may be a potential problem if cooked. The highest mutation activity in cooked (pyrolysate) vitamins was found in cyanocobalamin (3220 revertants at .025 mumole of cyanocobalamin).(5)

In a comparison of cobalamins against cancer, adenoxylcobalamin was effective against fast-growing malignant cells. Methylcobalamin was effective at elevated concentrations and cyanocobalamin had no effect in slowing the growth of any of the tumor cell lines studied.(6) In studies that show that vitamin B12 has no effect on cancer growth, we need to look closer at whether cyanocobalamin was used instead of the natural coenzyme forms (adenoxylcobalamin and methylcobalamin).

Methylcobalamin enhances synaptic transmission in learning and memory. Ikeuchi and associates studied the effects of methyl-B12 on the electrical activity in hippocampal neurons and found that methyl-B12 increased post-synaptic field potential which lasted more than an hour and increased the electrical currents elicited by N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA). Cyanocobalamin had no effect.(13)

Methylcobalamin plays a role in modulating human circadian rhythms. It accelerates re-entrainment of the activity rhythm to the environmental light-dark cycle. The suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN) is involved in relaying photic information to the pineal gland. Methylcobalamin enhanced the field potential in the SCN that lasted an hour. In contrast, cyanocobalamin showed no effect.(16) Methylcobalamin is also required in donating a methyl group for the synthesis of melatonin. Methylcobalamin supplementation can assist in modulating melatonin secretion, enhancing light-sensitivity, normalizing circadian rhythms and improving sleep-wake cycles. (17) Methylcobalamin also helps improve heart rate variability, suggesting that it is involved in balancing sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system function,(18) perhaps through its involvement with light entrainment and melatonin synthesis. Since circadian rhythm and melatonin synthesis are key factors in health maintenance, the use of cyanocobalamin rather than methylcobalamin is undermining our health as individuals as well as a nation.

Another study found a correlation between serum vitamin B12 in women and their breast milk. When a group of lactating women were injected with cyanocobalamin, there was also an increase of cyanocobalamin in their breast milk.

As early as 1970, Dr. A.G. Freeman protested against the use of cyanocobalamin in The Lancet. He again wrote a letter in 1978, entitled "Why Has Cyanocobalamin Not Been Withdrawn?" to The Lancet and to the British Committee on Safety of Drugs. Dr. Freeman voiced the concern that even if hydroxocobalamin is prescribed, cyanocobalamin is administered in its place. They wrote that "because doctors are still confused about the differences between various forms of vitamin B12 commercially available and about their possible adverse effects, manufacturers should withdraw cyanocobalamin in favor of hydroxocobalamin for therapeutic use." (8)

A letter from Dr. Terry was published in the October, 1978 issue of The Lancet. He wrote that "the lead for improved prescribing must come form compilers of formularies that are highly regarded. In this respect it is disappointing to find that the W.H.O. expert committee on the selection of essentiald rugs lists only cyanocobalamin, placing an incalculable number of patients with optic neuropathy in pernicious anemia or tobacco and tropical amblyopia at risk." (9)

In the November 1978 issue, the Lancet published a letter by J.C.Linnell and associates entitled "Therapeutic Misuse of Cyanocobalamin." The authors state that cyanocobalamin itself has no known biochemical function. Only trace amounts of cyanocobalmin are normally detectable in the human body, while significant amounts occur in patients with optic neuropathies, inborn errors of cobalamin metabolism and pernicious anemia. Cyanocobalamin must first undergo conversion to the physiological forms of cobalamin before being effective against pernicious anemia. However hydroxocobalamin (a precursor to methyl and andenoxylcobalamin) "has the additional advantage of therapeutic efficacy in certain neuropathies and some cases of inborn errors of cobalamin metabolism." The authors further write that "it is lamentable that an extensive demand for cyanocobalamin as a therapeutic agent should persist. There seems to be no place for the continued therapeutic use of cyanocobalamin." (10)

Vitamin B12 is found in algae, peas, clover, alfalfa, mustard, egg yolk, chedder cheese, sardines, herring, anchovies, calve's liver, haddock, salmon, and cow's milk. Plants containing S-methylmethionine include cabbage, kohlrabi, turnip, tomatoes, celery, leeks, garlic, beets, raspberries and strawberries (14). Cyanocobalamin is in haddock and cassava root. Elevated amounts of cyanocobalamin have been found in smokers and cases of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and optic atrophy.

Clinical doses of methylcobalamin are 1500-6000 mcg per day and can be administered orally, intramuscularly or intravenously with positive clinical results. Methylcobalamin is well tolerated and has no known toxicity. B complex (riboflavin, folic acid, pyridoxine, and choline), and zinc assist methylcobalamin effectiveness. It is important that physicians giving injections check the source of their vitamin B12. Not only can it be cyano rather than methylcobalamin, but the shot gun approach of giving liver extract can include allergenics. One report states that 10-30% of pharmaceutical preparations may be noncobalamin analogues, that are either inactive or cause allergic reactions. (1)

In conclusion, methylcobalamin can be effective in cases of neuropathy, depression, cancer, optic atrophy, heart rate variability, homocysteinemia, and sleep disturbances. However, all cobalamin analogues are not equal and taking cyanocobalamin with already elevated levels of cyanide can actually be harmful. It has been thirty years since Dr. Freeman first published a letter in The Lancet about the risks of using cyanocobalamin. How much longer can we afford to allow ignorance and profit motives to undermine our nation's health?

REFERENCES:

(1) Herbert, Victor and Neville Colman. "Folic Acid and Vitamin B12" in Shils, Maurice and Vernon R. Young, "Modern Nutrition in Health and Disease." Lea & Febinger, Philadelphia, PA, 1988, pg. 388-416. (2) Watt, D.T. "Vitamin B12 replacement therapy: how much is enough?" Wisconsin Medical Journal, 1994, 93(5): 203- 5. (3) Zerbe, N.F. et al. "Use of vitamin B12 in the treatment and prevention of nitroprusside-induced cyanide toxicity." Critical Care Medicine, 1993, 21(3): 465-7. (4) Williams, H.L. et al. "Studies of cobalamin vehicle for the renal excretion of cyanide anion." Journal of Laboratoyr and Clinical Medicine, 1990, 116(1): 37-44. (5) Demura, R. et al. "Mutagenic activity of pyrolysate of cyanocobalamin and some other soluble vitamins in the model system with the Salmonella/mammalian microsomes." Mutation Research, 1990, 244(1): 37-42. (6) Tsao, C.S. et al. "Cytotoxic activity of cobalamin in cultured malignant and nonmalignant cells." Pathobiology, 1990, 58(5): 292-6. (7) Sawyer, D.R. "Cyanocobalmin and cyanide toxicity (letter)." American Family Physician, 1982, 26(1): 48.50,55. (8) Freeman, A.G. et al. "Why has cyanocobalamin not been withdrawn?" The Lancet, April 8, 1978; pg. 777-778. (9) Terry, S.I. et al. "Survival of Cyanocobalmin." The Lancet, October 14, 1978, pg. 848. (10) Linnell, J.C. et al. "Therapeutic Misuse of Cyanocobalamin". Lancet, November 11, 1978; pg 1053-1054. (11) Brown, C.A. et al. "A Common Polymorphism in Methionine Synthase Reductase Increases Risk of Premature Coronary Artery Disease." J Cardiovasc Risk 2000, 7(3): 197-200. (12) Funada, U. et al. "Changes in CD4+ CD8-/CD4- CD8+ ratio and humoral immune functions in vitamin B12-deficient rats." Int J Vitam Nutr Res, 2000, 70(4): 167-71. (13) Ikeuchi, Youji et al. "Methylcobalamin induces a long-lasting enhancement of the postsynaptic field potential in hippocampal slices of the guinea pig." Neuroscience Leters, 1995, 192: 113-116. (14) Kovatscheva, E.G. et al. "S-methylmethionine content in plant and animal tissues and stability during storage." Nahrung, 1977, 21(6): 465-72. (15) Schneider, Z. "Comprehensive B12." Walter de Gruyter, New York, New York, 1987. (16) Nishikawa, Yukiko et al. "Methylcobalamin induces a long-lasting enhancement of the field potential in rat suprachiasmatic nucleus slices." Neuroscience Letters, 1996: 220: 199-202. (17) Mayer, G. et al. "Effects of vitamin B12 on performance and circadian rhythm in normal subjects." Neuropsychopharmacology, 1996; 15: 456-464. (18) Yoshioka, K. et al. "Effect of methylcobalamin on diabetic autonomic neuropathy as assessed by power spectral analysis of heart rate variations." Horm Metab Res, 1995, 27: 43-44"

B-12 - cyanocobalamin vs methylcobalamin

What type of B12 are you taking? Most people supplement their vitamin B-12 using nutritional supplements. But here's where this can go wrong: The most commonly available form of vitamin B-12 on the market is the cheap synthetic form that's actually bound to a cyanide molecule (yes, cyanide, the poison). It's called cyanocobalamin. If you have any vitamin B-12 supplements, check the ingredients label right now to see what form of vitamin B-12 they contain. If they contain cyanocobalamin, throw them out! The proper form of vitamin B-12 to supplement is called methylcobalamin. This is the form that exists in nature, and it is pre-methylated, meaning it's ready for your biochemistry to put to immediate use. Read More Here

Friday, April 4, 2014

Levomefolic acid

Levomefolic acid (INN) (also known as 5-MTHF, l-methylfolate and 5-methyltetrahydrofolate) is the active form of folic acid used at the cellular level for DNA reproduction, the cysteine cycle and the regulation of homocysteine among other functions. The un-methylated form, folic acid (vitamin B9), is a form of folate found in a variety of foods and can be isolated or synthesized for use in nutritional supplements. Folic acid is metabolized in the body into levomefolic acid. Approximately 10% of Caucasian and Asian populations (homozygous TT) have 70% less activity in the enzymes needed to receive any benefit from folic acid.[1] Another 40% of the population (heterozygous CT) appear to convert only a limited amount of folic acid into levomefolic acid. They cannot fully process supplemental folic acid at RDA or higher dose levels.[citation needed] The remaining population do not have a known MTHFR polymorphism and can therefore metabolize folic acid more efficiently.

Levomefolic acid

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Body Methylation

I am so fascinated by MTHFR Genetics, even though it is the cause of the most painful situation of my life but I am really learning a lot about the human body and possibly helping a few of my friends with this new information that this gene mutation may be causing some of their health problems ranging from clinical depression to multiple miscarriages, infertility, Autism Spectrum Disorders and even Fibromyalgia. There are 31 currently known variations of this gene mutation and it is believed that over 50% of the human population has at least one of them.

This particular enzyme (MTHFR), is responsible for a process called “methylation” inside of your body. It is most well known for changing homocystiene into methionine. The MTHFR enzyme is also involved indirectly in the production of many neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, norepinepherine, etc), as well as SAMe and glutathione (a pivotal anti-oxidant molecule involved in the body’s natural detoxification process).

The best thing you could do for yourself is to get a good B-Complex Vitamin containing Folate (NOT FOLIC ACID) (Possibly Methylfolate depending on what type of mutation you could have), B12 in the form of Methylcobalamin and B6. Most people are deficient of B vitamins but they help your body work efficiently.

MTHFR Gene: The missing link for Depression, Fibromyalgia, IBS and more.


MTHFR (Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase)

Monday, March 31, 2014

Folic Acid, Folate, MTHFR Genetic Mutations and YOUR HEALTH!

I have been finding some fascinating information after doing hours of research trying to find an answer as to why I had a baby with the fatal neural tube birth defect called Anencephaly. Everyone who knows me, knows that I have been an athlete for years. I live for fitness, I eat for results, I eat for health, I've been studying nutrition and sports medicine since 2007 and I can't just accept that it is "God's plan" or that "Everything happens for some unknown reason."
I have recently been educated by some of the people in the anencephaly support groups about a genetic mutation of the MTHFR that can cause your body not to properly metabolize Folic Acid so I started to research that specifically and did a saliva test for MTHFR through 23andme



So what is MTHFR? MTHFR is needed for DNA reproduction and is essential for folate metabolism, where the substrate 5, 10 methylenetetrahydrofolate is converted into 5 methylenetetrahydrofolate. If an MTHFR mutation is present, and the mutation is being expressed, a person may become deficient in 5 methylenetetrahydrofolate (5-MTHF). 5-MTHF is a key nutrient substrate. A deficiency in 5-MTHF is significant.
One of the essential roles of MTHFR and 5-MTHF is to aid in the re-conversion of homocysteine into L-methionine. Homocysteine is an oxidized amino acid, one that is derived from L-methionine. In the methylation cycle, homocysteine must convert back into L-methionine. If it does not re-convert effectively, homocysteine levels may remain elevated, predisposing one towards developing cardiovascular disease and cancer.
Mutations in MTHFR, and deficiencies in 5-MTHF may predispose a fetus towards developing neural tube birth defects in utero, such as spina bifida and anencephaly. MTHFR mutations may also be a significant factor in dementia, autism, schizophrenia, colon, breast and rectal cancers. It is believed that as much as 50% of the population has some type of MTHFR mutation.
The type of MTHFR variation you have may lead to a greater susceptibility to certain diseases. For example, the C677T mutations may predispose one towards cardiovascular disease, peripheral neuropathy, and birth defects. Whereas variations of the A1298T may lead more towards the development of fibromyalgia, schizophrenia, migraines, nerve pain, parkinson’s chronic fatigue and dementia.


So pretty much what this means for me is that my body doesn't process Folic Acid (the fake, synthetic, processed version of Folate). When I take folic acid, it just simply builds up in my blood stream and doesn't metabolize. Yes Folic Acid is the synthetic version of Folate, and they are putting it in everything from Bread to Cereals and encouraging women and pregnant women to take it even though studies are finding that it might not be good for you... Take this article for instance called: Folic acid supplementation is dangerous – especially for pregnant women


It brings me to another point. Depression has long run in my family. It is something I have personally battled all of my life which is why I am such a fitness junkie because that is my personal medicine... My Mother and sister both have bi polar disorder, manic depression, schizophrenia, and even dementia. Studies are finding that the inability to process B Vitamins properly can cause mental deterioration. So another question that arises to my mind is regarding Gluten problems... Is it really gluten or is it the synthetic folic acid they are putting in all of the products that are giving some people problems? I personally seem to have an allergy to it, I believed for years that I was gluten intolerant because I too had to cut out most breads, cereals, and all foods containing folic acid due to suffering allergy like symptoms and when I was taking folic acid while I was pregnant I was ALWAYS feeling sick shortly after taking my vitamins.
Or maybe it is just the fact that most grains and corn products are now genetically modified? If a product has folic acid which is a synthetic chemical of the nutrient folate, then how can it say organic?? I surely never heard of gluten intolerance a few years ago. Everything is chemically processed these days and maybe i'm just ignorant but I would love some solid answers so if YOU can educate me, please do.

Effective January 1, 1998, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) ordered that all enriched cereal or grain products be fortified at a level of 140 micrograms (0.14 milligrams) of folic acid per 100 grams of grain product.
People have been trying to blame autism on vaccines for years, but if you look at the rates of autism since 1998 what if it is Folic Acid to blame? Check out this next link for some interesting data.

Folic Acid Fortification, Increase in MTHFR and Rise in Autism?

Here is also a possible link between B12 and Folate relating to autism and declining cognitive abilities..



This statistic graph brought to you by this website

And this one is by far one of my favorite websites so far in all of my research. Folic Acid Awareness Week 2014: Want Awareness? Here You Go

So instead of Folic Acid, I will be taking L-Methylfolate (folate to bypass the MTHFR) and methylcobalamin (True B12 Vitamin).

Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) is a critical enzyme in folate metabolism and is involved in DNA methylation, DNA synthesis, and DNA repair. In addition, it is a possible risk factor in neural tube defects if a woman with the genetic defect gets pregnant as her body is unable to properly metabolize folic acid even if it is present within her body. It will simply build up in the blood stream and go unused... Which is very bad as your body needs folate and other essential B vitamins for various bodily functions. Anemia can be a sign of advanced folate deficiency.
Folate as well as B12 deficiency are the top nutrient deficiencies in the world. Besides its potentially crippling effects on the brain and on cell and tissue growth regulation, folate deficiency is linked to anemias, intestinal dysfunction, male fertility problems, pollen hypersensitivities, and bone thinning. Folate deficiency is also linked to blood buildup of homocysteine, which itself is linked to a plethora of other health problems. New findings are again showing how important folate is for the brain, from its formation during pregnancy throughout our entire life. Folate is a key nutrient that determines how our genes express themselves, operating like a toggle switch to tell genes to turn off and on. Clearly folate is a nutrient renowned for many health benefits and since we cannot make it within the body, it is beneficial and necessary for everyone.
Also known as Vitamin B9, in supplements, it is commonly in the form of synthetic folic acid. Synthetic folic acid is poorly absorbed and utilized by the body, and many people have a deficiency in the enzyme that converts folic acid into natural folate (MTHF). As many as one third of older Americans have unconverted folic acid in their blood, and this can pose several health problems. We need a better form of this critical nutrient! Studies suggest that folate and vitamin B12 status may play a role in depression and mental health.
Folate in and of itself does not alleviate depression. Our brain must convert folic acid into L-methylfolate before it can manufacture enough serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine to alleviate depression. However, certain individuals lack the ability to convert folic acid to L-methylfolate, rendering folic acid supplements ineffective for this group of patients.
This processing deficiency is caused by the methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) C677T polymorphism, which is quite common among patients with depression. Up to 70% of patients with depression test positive for the polymorphism and therefore cannot convert folic acid into L-methylfolate. (9)

Check out this article for some more information of different types of MTHFR mutations: Stop the Thyroid Madness

Since Folic Acid cannot be used by people with this condition, (confirm with your Dr for a blood test to check your homocystine levels) your body would have to use L-5-MTHF as Metafolin (L-Methylfolate) instead of folic acid as it is more effective, and bypasses MTHFR mutations and is safer.

Risks associated with excessive folic acid intake


Here is a multivitamin that contains L-Methylfolate instead of just simple folic acid

Here is a prenatal with the Biological Pure Nutrients by Seeking Health

Also Vitamin Code Prenatal

The best thing you can do is talk to your Dr to find out is Methylfolate is right for you... If your body is not used to it then you may experience some side effects such as in the link here

Nutrition Tips: Folic Acid: Killer or Cure-All?

Folic Acid vs. Folate

Types of Folate? Which is Best?

Monday, March 17, 2014

Rest in Peace my Angel







Worst Nightmare

I wasn't sure whether to continue this blog after a series of unfortunate events. I feel kind of torn over the Circus Mom status as Roilan and I have lost our child which means my next few blogs might be a bit on the sad side... I was so excited about moving back home to Utah from Las Vegas so that I could finish my pregnancy comfortably. The same day that we moved into our new apartment was the day that we had our diagnostic ultrasound. I had just turned 5 months pregnant and we had friends come over and help us carry everything up into our place and then off to the appointment we went. The radiologist and Dr’s were very chipper and very kind. They greeted us and had me lay on the table and smeared the jelly on my belly. The baby was head down so they looked through the organs, pointed out the kidneys, heart, everything looked great... or so we thought. The radiologists mood changed when it came to trying to see the babies head... he asked me if he could try the vaginal ultrasound to get a closer look at the baby. I obliged.
While observing with the probe, the radiologist got very silent and serious... I could feel tension in the room and I began to worry. Him and the Dr told me to get dressed and meet them in the other room to talk. Roilan and I started to get really worried but I hurried.

In the other room the Dr and Radiologist wrote a word on a yellow piece of paper... “Anencephaly” followed by the word “Polyhydramnios” as well as “Perinatologist Consultation, Genetic Counseling, Induction of Labor.” I didn’t understand... The radiologist began to explain that the baby had a serious, fatal birth defect in which he developed without a brain as well as the top portion of his skull, called Anencephaly... He also explained that I had a severe excess of amniotic fluid and that he recommends that I induce as soon as I possibly can for my own medical safety and that the baby will die either in utero, at birth or shortly after birth. I felt like I had had the wind knocked out of me... My mind was reeling. Nothing made sense anymore. Something inside of me died in those moments.
I asked my Dr what caused this, she said it is unknown. It categorizes under neural tube defect which is usually a lack of Folic Acid but she said in my case it can’t be since my nutrition has been optimal since the beginning of my pregnancy (My blood tests showed I had high nutrition and I was the healthiest pregnant woman they had ever seen) she said it is theorized to be a genetic mutation or it could be an environmental cause.
I couldn’t hold back the tears... I had so many questions. I cried all night and didn’t sleep. In the morning I called Dr’s, and clinics, and my insurance, and church groups who support these types of cases, and internet sites such as Be Not Afraid... We met with lots of Dr’s over the next few days and all of them said the same thing. I had a huge amount of amniotic fluid indicating that the baby has a severe case of anencephaly since normal babies regulate the volume by practicing breathing, swallowing, etc, our baby is going to die and if I don’t want to die as well then I need to be induced as soon as possible. If the baby dies in utero, I have 12 hours to get him out because he toxifies my body similar to gangrene.
I talked this news over with some of the church groups and they got pissed off by the Dr’s recommending me to induce and that I should “Carry to term” meaning I should carry the baby as long as naturally possible and leave the outcome up to god. My head reeled... I had to get a second opinion. We talked with a midwife friend who gave us an appointment for another diagnostic ultrasound downtown for Friday, so we went... The diagnosis was the same and I just cried and cried. I had hoped it was a mistake and that my baby was really normal... That ultrasound showed I had even more amniotic fluid than I did 5 days ago and they told me to be in touch with a Dr asap to discuss inducing.

I was tormented the whole week and I thought I would never be able to stop crying. Every minute I would just cry and wish that things would be different. I wanted my son to live so bad, I had so many hopes and dreams for his future, our future. How could this have happened to me? I am very athletic, so is my husband... We are two of the healthiest people we know, we never eat processed foods, we don’t eat fast food. We were completely stumped.

I found a Dr willing to induce me on Wednesday March 12... I took the appointment. People called me and told me I was sinning if I went through with the inducing since it would surely kill my baby... Unfortunately with this diagnosis there would be no hope regardless. It was honestly the most difficult decision I had to make in my life and my husband and I talked it over in serious depth over and over. It was the only decision that was right for us and wouldn’t bankrupt us since my insurance plan wasn’t willing to cover much of the costs..

I also didn’t want my son to suffer, even though they claim these babies don’t feel pain, from all the stories I had read of other babies with anencephaly being carried to term... some people put their babies on machines to keep the body alive as long as possible. I couldn’t imagine keeping my suffering baby on a machine... that wasn’t life. At the same time it was hard because I would feel him kick in my belly and it made me wish everything was fine. He felt so strong and I just wanted more time... I wanted him to know how much I loved him, how much I wished for him and didn’t want to let him go... I stopped crying and just spent as much of those last days touching my belly and trying to talk to him, and praying for my family in heaven to please watch over him when it was his time to join them. I was a wreck and I felt like I was going crazy with the grief.

This was my first pregnancy and I was so afraid of being a mother, I was afraid of my child hating me, or being a bad mother, or having twins, or no longer having time to be a performer... Never did i imagine that I would have to be afraid of losing my son before he was even born, this never happened to anyone in my family... I kept asking, Why Me? Wednesday came fast... Inducing was the most horrible pain I had ever felt... Everyone told me that having a baby was hell but you get heaven afterwards when you hold your baby... There was no heaven waiting for me. I was miserable and I suffered excruciatingly knowing he would leave me forever. While I was pushing I regretted it, I screamed and I cried... My mind constantly returns to that moment and all of the broken dreams and fantasies that helped me get through.. At one point I swear I must have passed out because I saw myself reaching for my baby but he was falling away from me, out of my reach... in the end my baby was gone and I was nearly rushed to the ER due to too much blood loss. I still thought he was so beautiful... He was my son... He will always be my son and I will never forget him. I asked the nurse if she could please stamp his hands or feet or anything for me to keep... I felt so broken... I sat in recovery and wished for death and thought maybe it would have been better to wait, to carry to term and risk death.... To have just a little more time with him.


My precious Son, though your existence in this world was short, you will always be remembered. I am so grateful for everything that you gave me and all the strength that I found in you. These last two weeks knowing that your condition was fatal and asking so many doctors for other opinions, wishing and trying everything we could save you... has been the hardest and most painful weeks of my life. I will miss your little flutters and tiny kicks and please know that a piece of my heart stopped forever when I was told by doctors that yours had stopped on March 12, 2014 during your delivery. My little Elias De Paz has grown his angel wings. I love you forever sweetheart. We will always be your Mommy and Daddy and you will forever be our angel.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Home made Almond Milk

I realize I am posting more about nutrition than I am my pregnancy... More will come once I get moved to Utah on friday. For now, enjoy the recipes.

This one rocks and is great for heartburn!! Copy and paste the link below! Xoxo


http://ohsheglows.com/2013/01/24/my-favourite-homemade-almond-milk-step-by-step-photos/


Friday, February 21, 2014

Sally and Josh Cook Fundraiser

Please help if you can, even $1 goes a long way to helping a family in serious need. This is my sister Sally and her Husband. Please click the link to read the situation. Please share this page to spread the word, thank you so much

http://www.gofundme.com/71yj98

My brother-in-law Josh Cook was crushed by a 2000lb pole that fell off of a forklift while at his job on February 19, 2014 and was life flighted to Utah Valley Regional Hospital. The pole crushed the right side of his body, his right foot had surgery because the arteries were completely severed and the surgery was unsuccessful, the dead muscle tissue is causing toxicity to his kidneys and he is scheduled for an amputation of his foot and possibly his leg in the morning (Feb. 21). He is also having reconstructive surgery on his right hip, he suffered multiple compound fractures in his right leg, a neck injury, shoulder injury, nerve damage, numb right hand, severe internal bleeding and head trauma. Your prayers are much appreciated at this time as he is still in very critical condition.

Josh was the sole provider for his family, him and his wife have three young children and now they are needing help since he will not be able to return to work. They are still waiting to find out any details about workers compensation, and he has a very high deductible on his medical insurance and must go through several surgeries. Please, if you can donate anything to this cause. I am her younger Sister Hope McCurdy and very worried about this family, please contact me for any questions through gofundme, facebook or aerialempowerment@gmail.com thank you.(which you can also send paypal payments/donations to this email and I will get the money transferred to Sally Cook. Thank you so much for your support. <3

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Natural Energy Drink

Real Vitamin Water

Still drinking SODA, DIET SODA, VITAMIN WATER, PROPEL AND OTHER DRINKS WITH ARTIFICIAL COLORS, FLAVORS AND SWEETENERS????? TRY THESE INSTEAD!!!

Infused waters. Here are their benefits to help with detoxification energy and hydration. Put as much fruit in water as you like and let the water sit for at least 30 minutes before drinking.

1. Green tea, mint, lime -fat burning, digestion, headaches, congestion and breath freshener.

2. Strawberry, kiwi -cardiovascular health, immune system protection, blood sugar regulation, digestion.

3. Cucumber, lime, lemon - water weight management, bloating, appetite control, hydration, digestion

4. Lemon, lime, orange - digestion vitamin C, immune defense, heartburn, (Drink this one at room temperature)

The Website

I am such a happy HTML Nerd... I figured out how to create quick navigation buttons on my website so I just spent the last hour writing in the coding! HAPPY NERD MOMENT!! I have had a passion for HTML since I was 14 but now it's coming back! The website is still a little messy but I figure the more I study the better it will come together!

http://aerialempowerment.com/aerial-store.html

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Arroz Imperial (Imperial Rice)

We have a cuban couple as our neighbors here in Las Vegas that Roilan has been helping out. The woman made a cuban dish called Arroz Imperial (Imperial Rice) and invited us over my god it was yummy... I found a recipe. I will try to cook it in a few weeks (but exchange a few ingredients for some healthier alternatives) but I sure enjoyed it tonight. I will miss them when we move to Utah two weeks from now but we'll keep in touch. My husband is Cuban so this brought back memories. I need to learn to cook more Cuban food, so good! Plus to expose our Cuban American baby to his culture in the future.



Cuban Imperial Rice recipe - Receta de Arroz Imperial Cuban imperial rice
Arroz Imperial is not served in Cuban homes as often as arroz con pollo, yet it's still a popular meal. It's not clear exactly when and where this casserole originated in Cuba, but it's unique in that cooks typically add a layer of mayo on top after removing it from the oven.
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour 30 minutes
Total Time: 1 hours 45 minutes


Ingredients:


2 large skinless boneless chicken breasts
1 cup rice
1 can (4 ounces) tomato paste
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
1/2 cup diced bell pepper
1/2 cup diced white onion
1/4 cup green peas
6 tablespoons mayonnaise
3 garlic cloves, minced
Olive oil
Dash of salt
Dash of red pepper
Instructions:

Add enough water to a large pot so that the chicken breasts will be covered. Bring water to a boil over medium high heat. Wash the chicken breasts and cut them in half before the water boils. Reduce the heat the low, then add chicken and garlic and cover. Simmer for 15-20 minutes until the chicken is cooked.

Remove chicken, and save the broth in the pot. Shred the chicken into large chunks using two forks, then set aside.

Add a few tablespoons of olive oil to a saucepan over low heat. Add the diced bell pepper and onion, saute until the onion is translucent. Add the tomato paste and chicken, bringing mixture to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 10 minutes. Add peas, and cook uncovered for 5 minutes. Mix in a dash of salt and red pepper, remove from heat and set aside.

Add a cup of rice to the chicken broth mixture, and one teaspoon of ground annatto seed or achiote paste for color. Cover pot and cook for 15-20 minutes until the rice absorbs most of the broth. Remove from heat and stir the mayonnaise into the cooked rice until it is mixed well.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spread half of your rice mixture on the bottom of a glass baking dish. Add a layer of shredded chicken on top of the rice. Add the remaining rice mixture to the top of the chicken, pressing down with a spatula to make everything firm and level. Sprinkle the parmesan cheese on top of the last layer. Bake in oven for 10-15 minutes, remove before cheese starts to brown.

Optional: Add a thin layer of mayo to the top layer of rice after removing from oven. It may sound unusual, but it's a very popular way for Cubans to enjoy this dish. This recipe serves 8-10.

ZUCCHINI FETTUCCINE

This recipe looks absolutely awesome and I want to try it! Instead of using pasta noodles you can make pasta out of Zucchini using a spiraled! Check out the details here: http://www.insonnetskitchen.com/how-to-make-zucchini-fettuccine/



After you make your noodles you can make the pasta :-)



"Zucchini, chopped tomatoes, oranges (chunks), and a "spinach-cilantro-parsley-dried basil-garlic pesto sauce."

19 Weeks Pregnant and still Fit and Flexible

I am now 19 weeks pregnant and still trying to stay in shape. :-)





Thursday, February 13, 2014

Salad in a Jar

Not only does SALAD IN A JAR save space in your fridge, it also reduces food waste and gets non-salad eaters to mow down daily. THE ARRANGEMENT From BOTTOM to TOP: Dressing Shredded carrots Cherry tomatoes Sunflower seeds Hard boiled eggs Baby spinach DIRECTIONS 1) Arrange ingredients in a large mason jar 2) Store in fridge for up to a week 3) When ready to eat: shake jar, place on a plate, and eat! You can make any arrangement you want… you can add red onion, cucumbers, radishes or peppers. Always remember to put the dressing at the bottom and the lettuce at the top—a MUST. As long as the dressing does not touch the greens this will stay fresh in the fridge for up to a week.



Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Food Dye the Colors to DIE for

I'm to the point where I don't particularly want to eat anything that I didn't prepare myself... I hate reading through ingredients only to find some crazy name for something that I can't pronounce and to discover that the food is artificially dyed!! I bought Olives, I looked at several canned brands and ALL of them had artificial coloring and color preservatives... I looked up the particular ingredients and found that those ingredients are hazardous long term. I found one brand of olives that didn't have the fake dye or color preservative (only consisted of olives, water, and sea salt) and yes the olives were a brownish color and had a shorter shelf life but they tasted the same as the perfectly black ones that are packed full of chemicals... I am buying olives and don't expect to have more than 6 ingredients in one can of Olives!!

I checked out some tortillas that claimed to be more healthy and also spinach tortillas only to discover that Yellow #6 and Blue #1 were ingredients and spinach was not... Check out this chart to see what these colors can potentially do to you when eaten.... YEESH!

Colors to Die For
Source: Special-Education-Degree.net

Sunday, February 2, 2014

My baby boy handbalancer

Pregnancy and Nutrition

I think the number one question I have been asked during my pregnancy thus far is “Do you get food cravings?” and I always hear some crazy story about some woman who craved tree bark or licked the ants off the sidewalk..
I have not had any unusual cravings really. The most difficult food time was in my first trimester when my stomach constantly felt like I had a tight rubber band wrapped around it combined with the feeling that I had drank too much coffee and was constantly floating. I didn’t really want to eat anything except for carbs and eggs and then I kept throwing up and I hated life and hated being pregnant.

Then my husband made me a salad one fine morning when I was hungry and crying that food made me too sick and he put apple cider vinegar on top of it for a dressing and it made my stomach feel sooooo good that I began drinking a couple of tablespoons of applecider vinegar mixed in cold water every time my stomach got really crazy and it made life more bearable and overall cured my morning sickness.

The only other cravings i really got was for spicey brown mustard which I put on a lot of my foods, and I also craved lamb curry, almond butter with green apples and cheerios (which i picked up the Trader Joes version with dehydrated fruits.)

At my first checkup, they drew my blood and informed me that I was probably the most healthy pregnant woman they had ever seen and that my nutrition levels were very high and that my baby has the perfect home for growing sufficiently. Everyone has encouraged me to cut loose and eat crazy now that i’m pregnant because it’s the only time that I can eat without guilt but I still prefer my health nut tendencies.
If I crave ice cream I just make a fruit smoothie instead or I suck on frozen fruits... I try to drink a green smoothie every morning when I wake up consisting of kale, spinach, apples, pears, carrots, and whatever fruit or vegetable I feel like blending for the day, and I have tried to up my protein intake and limit simple carbs.
I have gained 20lbs in the 17 weeks but I accept that some of that is baby, amniotic fluid, placenta, other things and the fact my hormones are completely out of whack and my body has gone into fat storage mode. I really don’t worry about it as long as my baby is getting what he needs but I refuse to give up my fit lifestyle so I still make time to workout and attend the gym. I do know that once the baby is out, I will get back on track… I did it before and I can do it again.

There are two types of cravings, irrational cravings where you just crave the taste or texture of something, preferably something that is tasty and not very good for you, and then there are rational cravings. These are when you crave something because your body needs the nutrients. Like maybe you’re craving chocolate but you really just need magnesium as an example.
When pregnant women get cravings for non food items it is generally a sign or severe nutrient deficiency, (the condition is called pica) if they want to eat the grass and the dirt on the ground, they probably need some iron or folic acid or something necessary is missing from their diet and the baby needs it.
I do feel as a pregnant woman that smoothies are a great food idea for early mornings as the vegetables I juice in my blender not only satisfy my hunger but it also helps my stomach set a good PH balance for the day and gives me more energy than if I were to eat greasy bread, bacon and cheese. Plus the fiber in the smoothies help prevent that pregnancy constipation that you read about in the books, I am fortunate for my diet that I haven't had to experience that first hand. It’s just always good to listen to your body and take it seriously. I am eating approximately 6 small meals a day so that I never really get hungry. Even when you are not expecting, your body can only absorb so many nutrients at a time. Most people eat huge ungodly proportions, even if it is healthy food, your body can’t use all of the nutrients and some go to waste/fat storage. Here is an example of my average eating in a day whether i’m pregnant or not, and keep in mind you don't have to eat for two, the pregnant woman only needs 300 extra calories per day...

Meal 1: Smoothie (Kale, Spinach, Apple, Carrots, Cucumber, whatever I feel like throwing in there)
Meal 2: Oatmeal with cinnamon, cashiews, dried fruits and a boiled egg for protein
Meal 3: Salmon/Chicken/Turkey/Lamb with Veggie Side or a salad
Meal 4: Fruit and nuts (or apple&banana with almond butter)
Meal 5: Beans and Rice/Quinoa mixed with veggies
Meal 6: Usually another salad to keep my stomach light at night (romaine, kale and spinach mixed with sliced hardboiled eggs, diced chicken/fish/turkey/lamb with tomatoes, onions, olives, corn, nuts, green peppers etc mixed in with a vinegar dressing or ranch)

I don’t eat this menu every day but it is just an example and most of my portion sizes fit on a small plate vs a full sized plate. And most importantly DRINK YOUR WATER! It is so important. When I am not pregnant I drink a ton of iced tea that I brew throughout the day, I had to give up the tea during this time due to inconclusive studies as to whether or not tea is harmful to the baby... I do drink a few caffiene free ones that my midwife cleared for me called Organic Pregnancy Tea, Roobios Tea, and Mint Tea but I am not too fond of the flavor. I really miss my green tea, chai, early grey, fruit teas and other collections but I can wait. I also get a weird variety of foods from my husband since he came from a 3rd world county… I've eaten Chicken hearts (which I like), Gizzard, which I am not too fond of the chewy texture. He made liver the other day which tastes like beef marinated in soap. Malanga (cuban potato type starchy root) Mamey Zapote (a fruit that looks like a pink avocado and tastes like pumpkin and sweet potato had a delicious love child) So it is kinda hard to be nutrient deprived when i eat so many weird things.
Here is a photo of a Mamey, they are very good. I need to find where to buy them in Utah, you can make an amazing milk shake out of them just with your blender and some milk (or milk alternative)

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Madness at the DMV

I promise I didn't make this blog to vent anger and frustration but this was an instance that I wanted to share. Anger in pregnancy is not good, normally I am not a very angry person but when i'm pregnant it makes me more primal with bloodshed on my mind… So i'll tell a story of what happened recently. My husband has only been in the USA for two years now, and when we first met he didn't speak hardly any English. We met in May 2012 in Brigham City Utah and since I had very little knowledge of Spanish, we communicated primarily though Google Translate.

Within 4 months of being with me he was speaking basic enough english to get by and by 6 months we are having full conversations in english. I was stoked, he learned fast and I have been so proud of him. He has an accent that I understand and many other American's don't though so I have been working to clean up his pronunciation. My husband finally naturalized in the USA and received his green card in December of this last year (2013) so now he is legal to get a drivers license.
Since we have been living in Nevada for work he has been just working to get it here before we return to Utah and then he can exchange it for a Utah License. Nevada offers the written exam in Spanish after all. He passed easily and has been driving me everywhere with his permit. I feel he has done a good job and i feel that he is ready so I have been pushing him to take the driving skill test to get his actual license before we move out of here in March. When we went to LA last week, he drove the whole way, his only struggle is changing lanes and gauging distance of cars and blind spots.

We had to wait over a week for an appointment available at the Sahara DMV in Las Vegas, so we booked it. When we got there Roilan was hearing all sorts of complaints by the mexicans in spanish saying how that DMV is really strict and how one guy got failed for going slightly under 25MPH in a residential road, or how someone failed for having their blinker on for too long before changing lanes... I told Roilan not to listen and to just have his own experience, listen to the teacher and don’t rush anything.
So I sit down and Roilan goes with the teacher and I am VERY confident that he would pass... Less than two minutes Roilan comes back and says the teacher said he was finished and failed and he had no idea why. I asked the teacher what happened and he screamed at me that Roilan was in the car and the teacher was checking the lights behind the car and Roilan started reversing so the teacher failed him instantly...
I asked Roilan “Why on earth did you reverse” and he says “The guy told me to Back up, so i did.” the instructor was yelling that that was a lie and that my husband is hopeless... As we were walking out the door, I am totally confused and Roilan asks me “Hope, what exactly does Backle Up mean?” I stopped in my tracks, Roilan continued “I honestly thought he shouted at me to Back up, but since he is Chinese I figured he just threw the L in the word because Chinese do that, even in spanish...” I turned around and went marching back in the door.
And I went up to the guy and I said “Hey, listen, you said a word that he didn’t understand, I have never told him to “Buckle Up” I only say “Put on your seat belt” my husband honestly thought you were telling him to Back Up. The guy tells me my husband is stupid and should learn english and I fight back and say “He knows english you ignorant ape, Buckle up is a slang, one in which he DID NOT KNOW, how about you use PROPER ENGLISH especially since you deal with so many immigrants here.” The man and I went at it for a while and I called him a racist because of how rude he was being... Finally a different female worker told me to leave before security was called and I finally gave up... after saying to her “Your lazy worker didn’t even give my husband a chance, he failed him because he didn’t understand an english slang used by the instructor and not because of his driving skills, all i want is for him to be given a fair chance, if he fails while driving I will stop complaining but we had an appointment and you didn’t even take him out!” She asked me if I wanted to set up another appointment and I replied “We HAVE an Appointment right now!” and she says “Sorry he failed...”

I finally gave up... What could I do? I had no idea. And I cried, much to Roilan’s frustration but the situation really upset me... I have never dealt with as many assholes in my life as I have met here in Vegas and San Diego.... Utah always felt so safe to me because I really rarely met assholes. Roilan and i really have some shit luck with a lot of people. I always want to believe humans are inherently good but they learn bad but lately I just want to push people out and keep them out after quite a few instances we’ve been through recently... I guess the good thing that came out of this situation is Roilan’s english vocabulary expanded by one slang term of “Buckle Up.” We have booked another test at the Henderson Location for Tuesday since the wait for the Sahara location was over 2 weeks for next availability as well as we have heard nothing but good things about the Henderson location… I hope it's true and that Roilan can just get a fair shot to pass or fail without prejudice, impatience, or screaming chinese men… I have a headache!

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Fragile Pregnant Women

Being a pregnant acrobat is really quite frustrating, it's mainly people who make it so. Everyone is so eager to give me advice and tell me what I CAN'T DO… well, I can. I'm not super human or anything but I can still put my hands palm flat on the floor between my feet, I can still do at least 12 pull ups at a time, sets of pushups, squats, lunges, splits, etc and people get mad at me and tell me i'm going to hurt myself and my baby by doing these things. I climbed the ropes to the top at Santa Monica beach last sunday to the stares of horrified spectators.
So I get on the elliptical machine at my local gym, or treadmill, or stair climber and oh, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ELEVATE YOUR HEART RATE PAST 150 WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT!! Well why the hell not? I've known women who ran marathons at 8 months pregnant… I take a yoga class and the teacher flips when she sees me stretching my shoulders in a bridge stretch… she nearly has cardiac arrest when I press up into a handstand and do different leg shapes, I almost lost my balance due to her screeching at me and not because i'm pregnant.
I walk in to the step class and the teacher takes one look at me and tells me not to participate because the risk of me tripping is too great and wouldn't allow me to stay in the room… I do the splits and women come up to me and tell me i'm going to injure myself because my ligaments are jelly when I'm pregnant. I listen to my body, I feel fine and my baby feels fine… I get small cramps if I do something that I'm not supposed to do and i know better than to attempt it again…

Well what the hell am I supposed to do? Lay in bed all day? That is NOT ok by me. People at the gym treat me like i shouldn't be there because weight loss is unhealthy when you're pregnant… I'm not at the gym for weight loss, i'm there because I want to remain fit so that I can more easily recover my extreme fitness post partum, that way the only thing that will take time to get back is the contortion and hand balancing as well as my endurance. Won't take long.

I am just excited for when we move to Utah because we are getting an apartment complex that has a fitness center so hopefully I can work out IN PEACE and not have to deal with the opinions of others… I can just throw on my earphones and ride that elliptical machine as hard and fast as my body feels… I get a TON of energy while i'm pregnant so why not? :-)

Here is a couple of photos of me before the pregnancy. I had so many comments on Facebook that doubted whether I was really a woman and that I certainly couldn't get pregnant with all the testosterone in my body… haha, Yeah right :-P

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Aerial Dance Baby Wraps

I am excited, I saw a woman at the china town here in Las Vegas carrying her baby in some fabric sling that she bought. I stopped and asked her about it since i'm pregnant and she told me it was called a "Woven Wrap" or "Ring Sling" so when i got home, I did my research but I was a little discouraged as many of these woven wraps were $100+ I decided to youtube the wraps and realized, hey, I could easily do this with my aerial fabric, I am a distributor after all so I have lots of access to aerial silks. http://www.aerialempowerment.com/aerial-store.html

I don't have my baby yet to test this theory, but aerial fabric is a very soft, breathable, medium stretch knit fabric that is very strong and also very wide. It ought to do the trick just fine… After seeing a few of these videos, I will try this out with one of my old 6yd high stretch aerial hammock that i have laying around. :-)



Performer Ego

Good news is my stress is out the window, Roilan and I had a gig on Saturday the 25th in Los Angeles for a wedding. It was marvelous, beautiful place, amazing atmosphere and nice people. It was also one of the easiest gigs we have had in a long time. Reason being is when we perform in the Vegas Casinos, they usually have us to park in the garage parking and then we have to carry all of our props ourselves through the parking garage, through the elevators, through the casinos, through more elevators to get to where we need to go... With this wedding, it was simply pull around the back of the building, carry props in only maybe 20ft, finished. It was glorious.
My part was I was stilt walking which is not recommended for a pregnant woman and I understand why... Your blood circulation changes as well as your center of gravity. Everything turned out fine and I was very careful and asked Roilan to watch me closely incase I needed help, but I spun my poi flags and stilt walked for about 20 minutes and I was good. My legs had gone completely numb and white in the stilts so I knew I was done. When I started walking normal, both of my legs got that annoying tingling fire sensations that tends to happen when the circulation comes back.

Roilan killed his performance, I never get tired of watching him. He is so incredible. We also invited Brennan and Kate to perform since Roilan and I could no longer do the acro routine so far along in my pregnancy. They did amazing and I love their energy together.
After the wedding we stayed with a dear friend of ours, Robert. He lives in Los Angeles and runs an amazing company GenXLabs which is currently one of our sponsors. They specialize in elite nutrition, recovery and muscle supplements and have some of the best products on the market. It was nice being able to talk with him and Christina to catch up. It had been a while since i had had the chance to visit with anyone so the company was well appreciated especially with two super rad people like them.
We woke up and went to the Santa Monica beach on the sunday, there is a grassy loft where many yogi’s come on sundays to practice handstands, acro yoga and all sort of acrobatic activities. I did a little bit of a workout, climbed the ropes which is definitely more of a struggle now than ever, did a few handstands, but decided to go walk the pier since I can’t really do too much.
I found the cirque tent (Totem was in town), I chatted with a guy from Dubai about his country after he asked me to take a photo of him, and even found a part on the beach where they have thousands of crosses representing the number of troops that have died in the war with the middle east. It was nice to walk alone.

On my way back, a gypsy woman caught my attention with her belly dancing clothes and marvelous face painting job. I followed her to a street performing musician where she began to dance along side her. I decided in my mind that I was going to tip her so I slipped a $20 bill in my pocket but I really wanted to talk to her first, maybe get her facebook information or something. I waited for her to finish and I approached her. She took a look at me and turned her back and started rummaging through a back pack she had with her.
I simply said “Wow, amazing dancing, I am hypnotized, how long have you been doing this?” and without even looking at me she said with an annoyed voice “25 years” I didn’t know if she was annoyed by me or by the lack of finding whatever she was searching for so I persisted. “Is there a name to the style of your dance or do you just freestyle?” she was silent as though she didn’t hear me... I started feeling awkward and rejected. Then I just decided to ask one more question. “Do you have a facebook page by chance or a website?” and she barked at me “WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT, HUH? UNLESS YOU’RE PLANNING TO TIP ME, FUCK OFF.” and I grabbed the $20 out of my pocket and flashed it and replied coldly “Well I was planning on giving you this, but I don’t deem it necessary to tip someone whose soul is as ugly as yours.” I turned my back as I heard her apologize but I kept walking. I came back to the grassy loft and there was a girl doing some pretty awesome single arm handstands. I had never seen another girl other than myself and I applaud anyone who gets the single arm handstand as it is hands down the most difficult skill I have ever learned (and will relearn after baby)
I waddled over to her with my pregnant belly and tried to chat with her... She was also very short and annoyed by my presence so the conversations really didn’t take off so I left her alone…

I sat down and hoped that i have never made anyone feel as sad and alone as I felt in that moment. What was wrong with the world? I understand now why so many people are afraid to speak up and talk to others when you get rejected like that. It also made me think that what if I was an agent and I was approaching these performers with the idea to offer them a job only to be treated like that. I wouldn’t hire that person…
We never know who the people are that approach us as performers. Don’t let your ego get so big that you treat people like shit that are curious about you. You never know who that person is or what that person may be going through. I’ve gotten a lot of jobs from performing because I have always tried to be courteous to others. I’ve had many approach me after a performance to compliment me and ask me questions about my profession as it is something completely new to them. I realized how many people had asked me similar questions that I asked to the gypsy dancer and after having a pleasant conversation with them they turned around and offered me to work at their wedding or some upcoming gig, or they took my information and gave it to someone and “referred me” I’m just saying to keep the door closed like these artists did in Santa Monica is not only stupid but they could also really hurt someone on an emotional level that really needed a boost.
I am also a very different person I realize from most people, I genuinely LOVE people and I LOVE hearing new stories and adventures. EVERYONE has a story to tell, everyone has something to teach you and I thrive on relationships and even simple conversations because I get to feel people and get an idea of who they are, how their mind works and why. I feel as an entertainer, it is NOT about me and my ego. It is about them and how they connect with the story I am trying to tell. The stronger the emotional connection, the more influence you will have over the audience, but if you mistreat someone who loved your act, they will forget you instantly. Treat them with respect, that everyone deserves, and you will have people raving about your act for months to years to come. Perhaps this is the secret to my success, Genuine Love and Respect.

Friday, January 24, 2014

The Phone Call

I’ve been a little down the last couple of days and just haven’t been able to shake it. Not sure if it is the gloomy weather or the fact that I received a phone call yesterday while grocery shopping at my local Trader Joes. The phone call was a producer for a big show on the Vegas Strip, particularly one I had auditioned for several times and they wanted me start work with them this coming thursday.
I was SO flattered, as I listened to him compliment my artistic style as an aerialist and a contortionist and my strength and endurance... To hear that I was one of the best he had seen, all my hours upon hours of training paying off in that moment... but my heart sank as I had to respectfully decline on the basis that I am indeed 4 months pregnant. I did tell him that my husband was available for it though and that he is an amazing handbalancer. The producer agreed to meet with us but mentioned they would prefer a female for the part of the show.
As I hung up the phone, I traveled through all sorts of emotions. Roilan asked me if I was alright, and I just told him I needed some time to think for a few minutes. We drove home in silence as I brooded. I felt so disappointed with myself, how could I get pregnant when I had finally hit my peak and found my freedom! How stupid I must be. I finally had my responsibilities straight, out of debt, had trained so hard... Then I felt a kick in my belly and I started crying... I can’t be mad at this little guy, it’s not his fault... it is HIS time now. I had been blessed with lots of time for me and much of it I had squandered away chasing crazy dreams and making a mess of my life with insecure lovers, controlling men, drug addicts, manipulative friends.
I even had a shot with Peepshow at Planet Hollywood back in 2010, they called me to come work for them as an acrobatic pole dancer after the producer saw one of my videos on youtube but my ex husband at the time begged me to give him another chance and I ended up choosing to stay with him and declined the producer of the big show… and one week later I was contacted by Miss USPDF West Coast invited as a pole competitor in the upcoming competition and I essentially gave up my dream at that time and declined…
I had always been someone else’s girl and I take full responsibility for that… I had finally found my confidence... Perhaps that is when he knew it was the appropriate time to come. His mother would be strong enough now for his purpose. I thanked the little man in my belly for choosing me and put my loving energy toward him. This is just a test, and I swear that it will only make me come back stronger. I know I can be a great mom and continue to be an artist.

Roilan and I have been living in Vegas off and on most of this year. We first moved here in April 2013 after we received a call from the San Diego Zoo. We had to step up our game if we were to survive 5 ten minute shows a day, every day for 74 days straight with zero days off.

So we trained and performed often, and the acro routine about killed my spirit. Acro with my husband has been one of the most difficult skills I have learned to date (other than single arm handstand) I would cry after our training some days because I didn’t know if i could handle it… if I was strong enough. But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
After the san diego zoo ended, we moved back to Las Vegas for gigs and auditions... We learned that Vegas really is a tough market because most auditions are not really hiring. In fact most auditions are for tax write offs for the companies, but it’s also a good way to make files incase they need a quick replacement for someone who is injured or quits…
Roilan and I were turned down for many shows as well due to our height. With him being only 5’5 and me being only 5’2, we don’t fit the profiles for most shows. Overall I really miss Salt Lake City, UT. With being pregnant, I really just need to go home until after the baby so that is the plan. After February, we will be wrapping up our apartment here in Vegas and moving back to Utah until post partum... If things fall into place we may just stay, but if not, we may end up in washington in the year 2015 for some possible jobs once I am back in shape. We will be in Utah Feb 5-10 to find a place as well as for a prenatal appointment for me... I trust that everything will turn out the way it is inevitably meant to... I just sometimes overwhelm myself with the possibilities. Now it is time for some serious squats and lunges… Feel the burn, even while preggo. AS I get bigger I will need the leg strength. Hugs and blessings to you all. xoxo -Mama Hope

Thursday, January 23, 2014

What's it going to be?

Conception

The real reason why I created this blog was I had a fan from my facebook page send me a private message to inquire about how I am adjusting to my performer lifestyle and training after becoming pregnant, and she told me that I should start a blog as she is sure others would be interested to hear about it and not only her. I may not answer that exact question in this blog, but I assure you, it will all come together.



To be entirely honest, it was really difficult for me in the beginning. We conceived our baby sometime in October as my last cycle was the first week of the month, and then we traveled to Utah for performances. We worked with a few companies around Salt Lake City as my Harley Quinn on aerial chains that I put together for the season as well as our Acro balance routine. I remember I was more hungry than usual, and then I was fatiguing easily. I am normally a night owl and I was craving bedtime at 9pm which was very unusual, but I got through all of my performances easy enough. Then about 3 weeks into our stay in Utah, I noticed that my 6 pack was fading and that I was looking more soft than my usual muscular self... I shrugged it off as possible premenstral bloating or to the fact that we were eating out often due to being on vacation. It wasn’t until we got back home to our apartment in Vegas when I started getting an intense painful hunger, where if I didn’t eat in that moment of hunger that I would start dry heaving furiously. I knew something was up. We came home to a flooded apartment (don’t rent cheap places in Vegas, seriously you get what you pay for) luckily nothing was seriously damaged except for our black 8‘x10’ throw rug that I used to practice contortion on which I had to remorsefully throw into the dumpster. Our place was a disaster and the only thing my husband seemed to notice was my breasts appeared larger. I told him it is all in his head but he kept staring... It finally clicked that I was over due on my lady cycle so I picked up the cheapest pee test I could find at walmart. Once again, this is another scenario where you get what you pay for. When pregnant, the test is to show a line perpendicular to the solid line.... there was kinda a line there but it was so faint I didn’t know what to make of it... so back to walmart I went, this time I picked up the digital test. I quickly did my business on it, waited for the digital hourglass signal for what seemed like an eternity….

BAM! PREGNANT.... Large, solid, clear letters. I slunk to the couch unsure of how to feel. First I felt complete joy and wonder. I started to cry and thinking “WOW, a miracle” I didn’t think I could really get pregnant. My ex husband tried and tried with me and it never happened.... I had had many relationships before my husband and it never happened, I had been with Roilan 2 years and it hadn’t happened. My father told everyone that my uterus fell out because that’s what happens to a woman who is too strong. Others told me I produced too much testosterone since I have considerably more muscles than the average woman. I was in shock and awe and those first tears were pure joy.... Then the worry hit... The fear. I began to think too much and questioning myself and my ability. The responsibility to come was too much and my brain freaked out. Roilan was ecstatic, he had been baby hungry for months! I remember him waking up in the middle of the night 8 months prior in the springtime to rub my stomach and say sleepily “Hopie, when are you going to give me a baby.” and I hastily responded “NOT FOR A FEW MORE YEARS!!!” and I remember us arguing while working at the San Diego Zoo because he didn’t believe that I wanted children because I was hesitant about the subject. I was afraid to tell anyone the news because I didn’t know if it would stick since I hear the miscarriage rate is high in the first few weeks, and I also didn’t want to give any companies a reason NOT to hire me when the holiday GIG season was around the corner. Roilan was very supportive though and that is exactly what I needed at the time. He reassured me that he wasn’t going anywhere, that this is amazing, that he wants a baby so bad and that we are going to be just fine. I had the fears and I expressed them openly to him. “What if my body is destroyed? What if I can never lose the weight? What if I can never perform again? What if we can’t find anyone to watch the baby when we perform? What if we can’t travel overseas now that we have a baby?” You name the fear, I felt it in that moment and for weeks to come.